


A Walk in the Mind

by What_They_Call_Me



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Gen, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance's Family Life, Langst, Mind Meld
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:55:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23288881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/What_They_Call_Me/pseuds/What_They_Call_Me
Summary: Lance is trapped within his own mind, and the paladins must look through his most potent memories in order to bring him back.
Relationships: Allura & Coran & Hunk & Keith & Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt & Shiro, Allura/Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron), Lance & Everyone (Voltron)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 169





	A Walk in the Mind

**Author's Note:**

> So because of this whole quarantine thing, I have been looking through my old files and found this. I think it was from back when season 2 or 3 had literally just come out, and I figured why the hell not post it.
> 
> Disclaimer: I was also obsessed with Shameless, and thus Lance's life was losley based on that of the show.
> 
> TW: Prostitution, mental illness, death, mild gore

Lance had been called many things in his time of Voltron and before. But impulsive never seemed to be one of them. Still his actions right now were incredibly impulsive. 

It didn’t matter not really, Lance told himself.

He wasn’t the important one in all of Voltron. The team could get on fine without him, but Shiro? The team needed Shiro. And so Lance had moved without thinking. He just moved to take the hit that was meant for Shiro.

And God it was painful, he could feel it all, like his soul was being ripped apart from the inside. All of his molecules fighting to be far from each other, and then fighting to be joined again. 

And Lance could hear screaming, he could hear a wordless anguished scream, he could also hear his name being called. There were more sounds, sounds he didn’t understand. 

“HEL… IM!” 

“WHAT’S … TH HIM? WHY … HEAL… ING?”

And then Lance fell deep into himself, the pain disappeared.

  
  


“We all have to agree to this.” Shiro said to the group. Everyone stood around the sleeping form of Lance, all of them tight with tension. Shiro looked at each one, knowing that no one wanted to do this, but also knowing each of them had to. “It’s the only way to save Lance.”

Keith’s hands were tightly fisted at his side. It had been a terrible week. Lance should be better by now, the pods said he was okay physically, it was his mind that was broken.

One by one each paladin agreed, and finally Allura did as well. 

Allura looked most conflicted, she didn’t like to mess with the mind, it was dangerous and personal. However, she shocked herself in how much she cared for Lance, and how much she wanted the Blue paladin to return. 

“Good-o.” Coran said with a false cheerfulness behind the control panels, “Let’s go.”

The machines flipped on and it felt like Shiro was being tugged by the gut into Lance’s mind. The feeling left him nauseous. He spun in a world of blankness, the space between what was real and what was Lance’s head, until he was in a completely white area, the rest of the team around him.

Shiro didn’t like this world, this place had no start or end, just witness, forever and ever.

“Where are we?” Hunk asked looking around, his voice bounced and echoed softly. It was creepy and stark.

“This is the junction of the mind.” Allura mused not looking the least bit calm, which greatly unerved Shiro, because she always seemed to be calm when he wasn’t. 

“Why is it so…” Shiro paused trying to think of the right word to explain this barren wasteland, “unLance?”

Allura was whirling around, clearly looking for something, her panic causing the others to panic too. Even ever aloof Keith seemed to be uneasy.

“This isn’t right.” Allura muttered more to herself than anyone else.

“Please share Princess.” Shiro ground out, trying to not snap, trying to stay calm for the team’s sake.

“This should hold Lance’s most important memories.” Allura finally said, looking at each of them, “This would be the quintess of Lance, but there is nothing here.”

“And that’s not good?” Keith asked. Shiro shot him a look, but Allura didn’t seem to notice the question.

“Lance!” Hunk screamed, and everyone turned to look at Hunk, who was pointing to Lance, who was standing far off in the distance. Far enough away that Shiro couldn’t make out all of his features just right, but close enough that he could tell it was definitely Lance.

Hunk was running towards his friend, within a moment, he reached out to touch Lance’s arm, not hearing Allura scream, “Don’t!”

When Hunk’s hand touched Lance’s arm, the pure white area they were in cracked like glass. Fracturing all around them. 

Hunk’s hand slid right through the projection of Lance, but the momentum of his run forced him to fall lower and lower until he caught himself on the trunk of a tree. Hunk looked around, taking in his surroundings.

He was at the very edge of a small park, a park that backed up to the ocean, with a soft and gentle tide rolling in over rocky beaches. Everything was bright and shappy, full of sunshine, it was the type of place you see in a travel commercial.

The rest of the team wasn’t around, but he wasn’t alone, he could hear the laughter of families behind him. A chorus of Spanish singing, talking and yelling all flooded his ears, almost drowning the sounds of the surf and the calls of the birds.

“ _ Te tengo! _ ” shrieked a little boy happily, the child slapped Hunk on the leg with his small hands.

Hunk looked down at the little boy, he must have been six or seven, but was so clearly Lance, with his big blue eyes and his shit eating grin. This was a cute childish version of Lance, one that melted Hunk’s heart.

Hunk looked around again, he didn’t know much about Lance’s homelife, he knew Lance was from a big family, and that he loved all his family members very much, but Lance didn’t talk about them much. He usually got too homesick, even back at the garrison, Lance didn’t like to talk about them, especially since Cuba’s restriction on phone calls were still strictly in place. But on days when Lance did feel open to talking about his home, it was always like this, an island paradise.

“ _ Te tengo _ !” Little Lance said again, swatting at Hunk’s leg.

“Yeah you did buddy you got me.” Hunk replied, not even aware that he was translating Spanish until Lance replied again, this time in English.

“Do you have someone to play with?” Lance asked looking around Hunk, “Because my family and I are all playing tag. Well not my baby brother Markos, because he’s a  _ baby _ , but everyone else is. Do you want to play with us?”

Hunk smiled, because even at such a young age, Lance spoke a mile a minute. The little boy flashed an excited smile, their was one tooth missing in the center, and Hunk found it endearing. It wouldn’t hurt to play with the younger version of Lance for a little while. Besides he would have to wait for the rest of the team to find him before he could do much of anything.

“I would love to play!” Hunk shouted with child-like innocence, and caught Lance around the middle, tickling him lightly. 

Lance shrieked in delight, escaping Hunk’s hold quickly and sprinting towards the center of the park, where the rest of his family played. Hunk watched the as Lance chaced around an older boy, before giving up and going after the much younger girl, who he caught right away.

Lance raced back to Hunk, breathless and happy, Hunk’s chest felt all too light at the sight.

“I forgot to ask,” Lance grinned, “What’s your name? My name is Lance, but my big brother Tomas calls me  _ Lanceito.  _ I keep telling him I’m not the littlest any more, but he still calls me that.”

Lance is pouting, and Hunk can’t help but laugh at the sight, this little version of Lance is too cute. 

“My name is Alika, but my friends call me Hunk.” 

“Friends, am I one of your friends?” Lance asked looking up at Hunk with wide hopeful eyes.

“Oh yeah, your my best friend.” Hunk assured the boy solemnly.

Lance light up like a carnival, his eyes sparkling with excitement. Hunk felt the emotions reverberate through his chest, felt the wonder and happiness as if he too were only six years old.

Lance reached out and took Hunk’s hand, his small child hands not even fully wrapping around Hunk’s adult ones, but Lance was running towards one of the older kids standing around a table that was sporting a small sheet cake. Lance all but ran into the older boy’s legs, and Hunk had to stop himself from plowing the other teen down as well.

“Whoa there  _ Lancito, _ ” The teen grinned with a lopsided smile, “Careful where you run. I am thirteen and can crush you now.”

“You wouldn’t ever crush me Tomas.” Lance laughed loudly, letting go of Hunk’s hand to wrap his scrawny arms around Tomas’ legs, “Besides I have a new best friend now, it’s Hunk.”

Lance pointed behind him to where Hunk was standing, and the yellow paladin shyly waved his hand, but Tomas looked right through him, as if he wasn’t even there. But Tomas smiled, and grinned at what he saw as air, looking at the height Lance was, which was just at Hunk’s stomach.

“Hello Lance’s new friend.” Tomas said, an older brother humoring his little brother’s imaginary friend, “Lance, do you want cake?”

Hunk was all but forgotten by the promise of cake, Lance was jumping up and down excitedly looking at the cake on the table. 

Hunk glanced at it too, clearly homemade, and not well made at that, the cake was covered in thick white frosting with globs of green icing shakily spelling out, ‘FELIZ CUMPLEANOS A AMELIA Y TOMAS’ 

Tomas was cutting large squares, he gave the first to a teenage girl to his left, and the next to Lance, but Lance refused with a smile.

“It’s your birthday!” Lance shouted with a laugh, “You and Amelia need to eat it first.”

The teen girl grinned at Tomas, and they both had their first bite of cake together. Lance clapped, and Hunk felt an urge to do the same thing. It was a perfect day, Hunk realised with a smile. This was Lance’s perfect day, and that’s why it was what he saw of Lance.

Hunk had always seen his best friend as a shiny star, a beacon of hope and happiness, and now he knew why, it was memories like these. Moments with his family that had shaped and defined Lance into the caring and loving man he was today.

Hunk sat down, his back against the rough bark of a palm tree.

Moments later Lance bounded over to him, a plate with cake in hand.

“It’s for you.” Lance smiled, then something in his tone shifted, something Hunk couldn’t quiet identify, “For my best friend.”

Hunk happily took the cake, experimentally taking a taste. It was vanilla, but tasted like childhood happiness and family memories. Hunk closed his eyes with a contented smile, not aware that he had left the happy park was was back in the complete white expanse.

  
  
  
  


Hunk was running towards his friend, within a moment, he reached out to touch Lance’s arm, not hearing Allura scream, “Don’t!”

When Hunk’s hand touched Lance’s arm, the pure white area they were in cracked like glass. Fracturing all around them. 

And Shiro was falling again.

This time he fell heavily onto a wooden floor. 

Glancing around Shiro realized he was alone, completely and utterly alone. He snapped up trying to find his team, but a wave of vertigo hit him and he tumbled back to the ground. 

This time he looked around more carefully before getting up, he was in a small room, crapped with three twin sized beds. The walls were painted a faded blue, peeling at some places, but covered completely with posters and little children’s drawings. It was stifling hot, even with the windows open, it felt sticky and sweaty, and Shiro wanted to vomit again. 

It was dark, the inky blackness of night sweeping through the room and casting shadows in every corner. The only light came from the sliver between the bottom of the door and the floor.

Finally his gaze was drawn to three small figures hidden under one of the beds. The largest of the three had a protective arm around the other two, while the others had their heads down, both clutching a stuffed animal. The smallest one was a little boy, his thumb stuck in his mouth, holding a small stuffed bear. The nest smallest was a little girl, her long dark hair falling over her shoulders and hiding her face, in her hand a small stuffed cat was clutched tightly.

The one in the middle was blinking at Shiro, wide eyed, but unafraid. He had such blue eyes, bluer than the sky and the sea, and Shiro knew immediately this was Lance. A much younger version of himself, he couldn’t be much older than ten in this moment.

“ _ Quién eres tú? _ ” The child asked, the other two children didn’t react to the voices, as if they were frozen in time, frozen in a singular moment.

So this is Lance’s mind.

“ _ Quién eres tú? _ ” The child demanded again, this time more forcefully.

Shiro opened his mouth to answer, before realising he couldn’t. He didn’t know Spanish, he didn’t even know Lance knew Spanish.

“Lance?” Shiro asked finally reaching out to touch the boy in the middle, but Lance moved back, shielding the other two children in his hold. “Lance, is that you?” 

Lance blinked, quirking his head to the side before finally the child responded again, this time in flawless English, “Who are you?”

“It’s me, Shiro.” Shiro answered dumbly, he never had really been good with kids before the Kerebos mission, and now, he was even worse. So he stuck out his non metal hand for Lance to shake.

Lance examined the hand carefully, not taking it, just blinking at it.

And then it was as if the moment in time that had been frozen opened up, and Shiro could hear everything again. Outside the room people were yelling angrily in Spanish, shouting so loud that even Shiro’s heart jumped. The two other children in the room were whimpering quietly, and Lance hushed them gently.

“Quick!” Lance whispered to Shiro, “Get under here.” 

And Shiro felt his heart beat quicken. He too was suddenly panicked, and he didn’t know if it was because of being in Lance’s memory, maybe he was experiencing Lance’s fears the way Lance felt them. Or maybe it was because he was suddenly back in a Galra cage, awaiting to be placed in another gladiator battle. 

Either way Shiro scrambled so that he was also under the bed, his large figure pressed against the incredibly tiny one of one of the younger children. His heart thumped in his ears. 

“ _ Estas ok. Todo estas bien. _ ” Lance was whispering to the children, in a calm tone, one that was far too calm for how Shiro felt. But Shiro too listened of Lance’s words, feeling the words not their meaning. “ _ Todo estara bien. _ ”

Then the door slammed open, the wood splintering under the foot of someone. The children on either side shrieked in fear, and Lance tried his best to hush them. 

Shiro didn’t know what to do, he watched in abject horror as boots walked into the room. 

He couldn’t see much, just black boots. But he could hear it all.

He could hear the little girl next to him trying to control her breathing, he could hear the youngest boy crying, could hear Lance’s desperate pleas for silence. But most of all he could hear the steps coming closer and closer to their hiding place.

God! How could Lance have lived through this, Shiro was an adult and barley managing, and Lance sounded so calm.

“Lance!” The man said in a sing song voice, “Vicky!”

The steps were coming closer.

“Markos” 

And then the smiling face of a man was before the four of them under the bed. The man looked drunk, and scary, with a long scar over the side of his face. The littlest boy, -- Markos? -- screamed, and Shiro waited in baited breath.

Clearly the man couldn’t see him, this was a memory, and so their was nothing Shiro could do, but he was still terrified.

Then more footsteps came in, and somebody tackled the scary man to the ground. For a second the three children didn’t move.

“Lance!” The saviour screamed, “ _ Salva a tus hermanos! _ ”

And Shiro didn’t know Spanish, but for some reason he knew what was being said:  _ Lance, save your siblings. _

That’s what Lance did, Shiro watched as the young boy ushered the other two out the open window into the flat lands of a jungle. Lance, and also Shiro, glanced back to see an older boy fighting with the scary man, but Lance didn’t dwell on it, he was running, pulling his younger siblings through the undergrowth.

They weren’t far when they heard the first gunshot go off. They didn’t stop running.

Shiro couldn’t breath, his mind was racing, he felt like a child himself. He closed his eyes to rest, to be away from this part of Lance’s mind, for even just a moment.

And when Shiro opened his eyes he was back in the room with three cramped beds, and he wanted to vomit. He couldn’t live through that again, not the childish fear that overtook him so powerfully.

But the room was different now, there was light streaming through the window, and the young Lance was standing in front to the bed closest to the door, just staring at it.

“Your back.” Lance said, blinking at Shiro carefully. Shiro opened his mouth to say something, but it was too raw to speak, he just nodded.

“What happened?” Lance asked, turning on Shiro, a storm in his ocean eyes. Shiro didn’t know what to say, because he could still feel the imense terror of being a child in that moment, but he didn’t know what had actually happened, he had only seen what lance had seen.

“Why didn’t you save my brother?” Lance was screaming and crying, pointing at Shiro.

“You’re an adult!” Lance cried miserably, “You were supposed to save us! But you just hid!”

And something tightened in Shiro’s chest.

“Somethings are meant to happen.” Shiro tried to explain, tried to use his leader voice, kneeling down to Lance’s level. But even Shiro could hear the hollowness behind his words.

“ _ Merida! _ ” Lance shouted with venom.

And then Lance was crying again, sagging into Shiro’s chest.

“Why didn’t you save me?” Lance asked. “Why didn’t you save me?”

And Shiro wasn’t sure which Lance was asking, the child version or the real Lance. Because Shiro knew he was a terrible leader, knew that it was his fault that Lance had gotten hit by a shot of light from a druid. It was Shiro’s fault, because he is the leader, he is the one that makes sure no one dies that no one ever gets hurt, and he had failed Lance so spectacularly, that the blue paladin was now trapped within his own mind.

“I’m sorry.” Shiro whispered like a prayer, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

The young Lance pushed something into Shiro’s hand, “Sorry doesn’t bring back the dead.”

Shiro looked at what he had been gifted, it was a blue bunny stuffed animal, clearly well loved, the fur matted in places, and the stuffing displaced from places that the animal was constantly being held from. But most jarring was the spattering of dark red blood over the stomach of the toy.

Shiro knew without being told, it was the blood of Lance’s older brother. And he felt like he was going to vomit.

Shiro didn’t even notice that the scene had shifted yet again. He was back in the all white area. But he sat on his knees, staring at the blood spattered toy in his hands.

  
  
  
  


Hunk was running towards his friend, within a moment, he reached out to touch Lance’s arm, not hearing Allura scream, “Don’t!”

When Hunk’s hand touched Lance’s arm, the pure white area they were in cracked like glass. Fracturing all around them. 

It felt like the entire world went sideways under Keith’s feet. And suddenly he was was standing next to a dumpster behind a fancy looking hotel. The air was pleasantly warm, and the Keith looked up, seeing the stars that stretched out forever. 

The starry night sky was how Keith had pictured Lance’s mind, for it to be infinitesimal, to expand forever in beauty and wonder, he much prefered this place to the stark white land he had been in before. Even if here had a dumpster and a strange wet sliding noise.

Leith looked around to see a man standing against a wall, he was older, with a potbelly, and between his legs was a skinny boy, sucking and bobbing expertly. Keith looked away quickly, feeling embarrassed and hot at the sight. Why on earth had Lance’s mind taken Keith here.

The man behind Keith grunted, reaching his climax, and the one between his legs made a vulgar sound, slurping it all up. Keith blushed harder.

There was a wet ‘pop’ and then the boy said in a thick cuban accent, “that will be twenty pesos.”

Keith turned around, not even caring that this man was completely on display for him to see, because Keith knew that voice. Keith knew who this… this prostitute was, Lance!

Something hot and indignant burned in Keith’s belly, at the thought of Lance, prefect beautiful loverboy Lance, being a prostitute. He didn’t know why the thought angered him so much, Keith wanted to be anywhere else, he didn’t want to see this. He closed his eyes, willing himself back to the stark white area that was so unLance as Shiro had said, because anything was better than watching this.

But Keith could still hear the exchange of money. Could still hear the guy walk away happily serviced by Lance, and he could hear Lance walk towards Keith.

“Sorry for the wait hot-stuff.” Lance purred, his voice was sultry and hot, and God Keith loved hearing it, but not like this, “You want a turn.”

Keith said nothing, he didn’t want to hear Lance touch another person like that, didn’t want to see Lance being used like that. Not when he wanted to…  _ No _ !

“Hello.” Lance said again, placing his hand on Keith’s shoulder, and Keith jumped. Opening his eyes he was met with Lance, beautiful Lance who had the most mesmerizing ocean blue eyes. “Do you want a turn. It’s twenty pesos, but for someone as cute as you, I can make it only fifteen.”

And Keith felt dirty, because he wanted it, he really wanted to say yest to Lance, and it made him feel dirty and gross.

Lance looked younger in this memory, not by much, as if he was still growing into his charming looks. Right now, Lance looked almost boyish, with arms that weren’t quiet proportion right with the rest of his body. He also wore the most ridiculous get up, a mesh blue tops, completely see through, and the shortest shorts that Keith had ever seen, exposing long inviting tanned legs. Keith’s blush deepened and he looked away from Lance.

“No.” Keith was able to grit out. It was strained and breathless, in the way that told Lance, that Keith in fact really did want this. Really wanted to use Lance, and it sickened Keith to know that about himself.

“It’s okay that you want it.” Lance purred in Keith’s ears his nimble hands were on Keith’s shoulders, “It okay.”

“No!” This time Keith’s voice was stronger. He wouldn’t use Lance this way, even if it was in his own mind.

Lance, to his own credit, didn’t look offended, just shrugged. Something that Keith couldn’t read flashed over the boy’s eyes, but it was gone within seconds. Lance just shrugged and turned around.

“If you want anything later hotstuff,” Lance called over his shoulder, “You know where to find me.”

And then Lance winked.

Keith didn’t know what to say. Thankfully he didn’t have to, because the scene changed. Now Lance stood in front of a house, clutching eighty crumpled pesos in his hands. Lance looked tired as he opened the kitchen door. The lights were on, and a woman sat on a kitchen stool, a crying baby in her hands.

“Hola Amelia.” Lance smiled. The girl smiled back, just as tired. Lance put the crumpled up money in a small bowl that had a few other pesos in it, sitting in the middle of the kitchen island. Than Lance swooped down and placed a soft kiss on the crying baby’s forehead. “Hola Sofia.” 

“Lance.” Amelia looked sad as she spoke, “I wish you didn’t go out. We can get by without your money.”

Keith immediately felt a sense of love for this woman, who wanted to protect Lance as much as he himself did.

“Just until you can work again.” Lance promised.

He went to the fridge and opened a cold soda. The baby in Amelia’s hands finally stopped fussing and was now contently laying in her mother’s arms. It was a moment of complete quietness and peace that Keith felt like a voyeur. 

But what was worse was that Keith felt a sense of unease overcome him. He was braced for action, and he didn’t know why, because Lance looked content, Keith shouldn’t be poised to fight.

“Go to sleep Amelia. You need it.” Lance whispered, taking a long swig of the coke in his hands.

Keith wanted to tell Lance to do the same thing, because clearly Lance needed sleep too. There were dark bags under his eyes, and bruises on his knees.

“I wish I could.” Amelia said, her voice tired but resigned, “Mama came back tonight. Fell asleep in my bed.”

And then Keith felt it, it was like all of Lance’s emotions flowed through him at once and if he too were Lance. There was a righteous anger, one that Keith didn’t know Lance was capable of feeling. 

“No!” Lance said angrily, standing up and leaving the kitchen.

“Lance!” Amelia shouted, she made a move to follow him, but the baby in her arms began to fuss again, crying loudly, leaving Amelia to hush her softly.

Lance was stalking to another room, and Keith trailed behind, watching carefully, but feeling all of Lance’s emotions. It made him shake with anger.

Lance slammed open the door to see a woman laying under the covers of a large queen sized bed. She was looking at the ceiling, not asleep, but not moving, it made Lance angrier. Keith felt a heat under his skin, a fire that made him want to pull out his own hair.

“Get up Mama!” Lance screamed at the woman in the bed. She didn’t so much as blink, “Get up!”

Lance’s body was trembling, raw anger like a live wire exposed to the elements.

“Wake up! Do something! You are our mother!” Lance was screaming. The woman rolled so that she was on her side instead of her back. So that she couldn’t see Lance.

Lance’s emotions grew stronger, a hurricane of hatred battering inside his ribcage, and Keith felt all of it. 

Keith wanted to reach out, to put his hands on Lance’s shoulders, but Keith had never been good at emotions or feelings, so he stood silently watching as Lance unraveled before him. It was terrifying to see the happy go-lucky teammate this emotional.

“You should be protecting us! You should be going out there! Not Amelia! Not Samuel! Not Me!”

The woman said nothing. In a rage Lance grabbed the blankets from the bed, pulling them with all of his might. Keith didn’t even realize he had moved as well, helping Lance uncover his mother. The woman look at her son, just curled into herself more. 

“Wake up Mama!” Lance screamed again, he threw the blankets to the ground, but Keith kept a tight hold on them. He worried what he would do if he let them go, because anyone who hurt Lance this way deserved to be punished, and Keith wanted to punish this woman so badly.

Lance was about to move, about to strike, when he heard something from the doorway. There was a small boy, no older than ten standing at the mouth of the room. He wore his pajamas, and was using one hand to rub away the sand from his eyes, the other gripped a stuffed bear. Lance’s emotions softened, not by much.

“Sorry Markos, did I wake you?” Lance asked, stepping around Keith and away from his mother.

Markos only nodded and Lance lead the boy away, leaving his mother shivering without her blankets. 

Keith held the blankets tight, not wanting to drop them, because if he dropped them then this wretched woman might be able to get them back. Instead he held them close to his chest, holding it tightly. Until he was back, back in that white room.

  
  
  
  


Hunk was running towards his friend, within a moment, he reached out to touch Lance’s arm, not hearing Allura scream, “Don’t!”

When Hunk’s hand touched Lance’s arm, the pure white area they were in cracked like glass. Fracturing all around them. 

And Pidge was tumbling around and around. Until her head hurt, her brain was probably swirling around in her skull right now. She felt like she was going to vomit everywhere. And then suddenly everything stopped moving and Pidge was on solid ground. Something she was all too thankful for.

She stood on the steps of what appeared to be a small kitchen, painted a bright yellow, some people stood around all conversing in Spanish. Pidge hit her head once, like she did when trying to clear static from a radio, and the background chatter switched to English, just in time for Pidge to catch sigh of Lance.

Lance walked into the room, looking exhausted, wearing a backpack hiked high on his shoulder. Two younger kids ran in after him both smiling happily.

“Lance!” Pidge called out happily. She didn’t realize how much she had missed Lance until this moment, seeing him again. After Lance had been hit by the druid’s beam, the cast;e had been too quiet. 

Pidge didn’t even realize how much she relied on Lance until she didn’t have access to him, Lance was like another big brother, one who told her to take care of herself, one who made her laugh and smile whenever she needed it.

But Lance didn’t even see Pidge, he just sighed tiredly looking at the younger two kids as they ran into the room. Pidge wanted to scream and cry at Lance, she wanted him to notice her standing there. She  _ missed _ him.

“Tio Lan!” A small child ran up to Lance, it was a little girl that looked a great deal like Lance did. Lance’s entire face light up, and picked up the little girl, who giggled at being lifted so high in the air.

“What does your mama have planned here  _ Cariño _ ?” Lance asked the small child in his arms, “Is she planning a party because I got into the Garrison?” 

“Which one blabbed?” Laughed the older boy who wore a uniform, an ugly bellhop getup, a name tag pinned to it proudly saying ‘HOLA MI LLAMO SAMUEL.’

“You know Vicky,” Lance laughed, putting the smaller child on his hip and making his way to the kitchen island, where a small cupcake stood proudly. Lance dipped a finger into it, frosting, and put it on the child’s nose, who laughed loudly, the sounding echoing happily around the memory. “Can’t keep a secret to save her life.”

“Also can’t keep her nose out of other people’s business.” The older woman laughed. She placed a kiss on the top of Lance’s head, and Pidge could feel the a sense of unease radiate off of Lance in waves. Pidge’s eyes narrowed at the woman, she pushed her glasses up on the bridge of her nose, cataloging the information.

“This is a joint celebration.” Samuel said easily, and Lance’s entire attention shifted to the other teen. Pidge kept looking carefully at the older woman, who seemed saddened by Lance’s ignoring of her. “Mama has been on her meds for a full year now.”

Lance glanced at the older woman, his mother, still not trusting her, but he smiled with real warmess.

“Congratulations mama.”

Pidge watched the exchange carefully, as if this moment would shatter at any second. And it sort of did, because seconds latter the two younger kids ran back in. In their hands was a lumpy package wrapped in old newspapers. The little boy was smiling widely.

“Lance! Lance!” The boy smiled.

“Markos! Markos!” Lance responded playfully.

“Vicky and I got you this. So that you can look like a real pilot.” 

The package was shoved into Lance’s hands, and Lance was smiling so widely. He carefully placed the baby on his hip to the ground and unwrapped the package. Inside was the jacket the Lance wore everyday in the castle of Lions. 

Lance’s eyes widened and then his smile grew watery. Pidge could feel it all, the bittersweet love that came from this parting gift. She recognized it immediately, she had felt the same way when she had left her own home, left behind her mother, the only person in her family that she was certain was alive, to chase down the ghost of her brother. And Pidge almost wanted to cry, because Lance felt the same way, he was leaving everything he had ever known to join the Garrison, and Pidge had never even bothered to think about how the others might have felt when they left their own homes.

And now Pidge felt all of Lance’s emotions as if they were her own. 

Pidge worked hard so that emotions didn’t effect her that much. She lived her life with muted feelings, and that’s how she liked it. But Lance lived by his emotions, and even Pidge’s strongest emotions were only an eighth of the intensity as Lance’s seemed to be.

“Thank you guys.” Lance grinned, putting the army green jacket on, with a flourish, “I’m sure I will be the coolest person in all of America.”

“Yes sweetie,” Lance’s mom laughed, “You will get all the ladies like that.”

And Pidge was smiling and crying at the same time. It was so much emotions, all swirling around, she couldn’t pick one out from the other. It was too much.

She didn’t feel the scene shift, she didn’t notice as she left Lance’s memory and instead was back in the white expanse, Lance’s jacket wrapped securely around her shoulders. She just kept crying.

  
  
  


Hunk was running towards his friend, within a moment, he reached out to touch Lance’s arm, not hearing Allura scream, “Don’t!”

When Hunk’s hand touched Lance’s arm, the pure white area they were in cracked like glass. Fracturing all around them. 

Allura huffed in annoyance at her paladins, of course they didn’t listen to her. Never did they seem to listen to her, and Allura hated it. She wished that for once, they would just follow her orders, no questions asked.

But now she was forced deep into Lance’s mind. 

She didn’t recognize where she was, but she could see stars upon stars above her. They were beautiful if not strange to her. She missed the stars from the Altean skies, and found the new constellations bittersweet.

“The stars are beautiful tonight, but you know what is even more beautiful?” Allura heard Lance’s voice from behind her. Allura rolled her eyes, because even in Lance’s mind he was hitting on her, and Allura found it tiresome. 

She was about to turn and face Lance, face his cheesy pick-up lines, and try to call him back to Voltron, where he was needed, but froze in place when she heard another voice, laugh.

“Are you using an ancient meme to charm me?”

It was a woman’s voice, soft with amusement. Allura spun around to see Lance laying on his back, a blanket spread beneath him, a girl lay on his naken chest. There was another blanket tastefully covering the two. Nest to the pair are two orange and white jumpsuits neatly folded.

“That depends.” Lance’s voice echoed in Allura’s head as she watched the scene unfold, “Is it working.”

The pair shared a long soft kiss. Allura had to look away, flushing at the intimacy. The princess had always assumed that Lance flirted and slept with people at equal measure. She never realized he could have been in love. 

Because that was the feeling that surrounded this memory, Allura could feel it, the strange flipping in her stomach. The way her heart lurched to hold another. The way she was so contented in this moment, but also so scared to let this moment go. This was a deep and emotional love.

Allura suddenly envied Lance, the princess herself had never been in love, and in Lance’s short lifetime he was able to feel this.

“Lance McClain.” The girl whispered, breaking the kiss “You drive me crazy.”

“Rachel Lorde,” Lance responded in the same tone, “You are far more beautiful than all the stars in the universe.”

Lance leaned in to kiss this Rachel again, but then he caught sight of Allura, and suddenly Lance was standing, covering Rachel completely from Allura’s gaze, but leaving himself quiet exposed. And the deep flush couldn’t be stopped, as Allura got to see all of Lance.

“Whoa lady,” Lance said, and Allura vaguely noticed that the memory had come to a stand still behind them. “What the hell, perving much?”

“Lance.” Allura’s voice came out choked, but she stopped clearing her throat and trying again, this time it came out much stronger and much more like the princess she is, “Lance. We require that you return.”

“Return?” Lance shook his head, “Listen lady I don’t know you. And I don’t know who you are, but leave me and my girl alone.”

Lance cast a glance over his shoulder to see his girl frozen mid breath. She looked beautiful in the light of the moon. 

“Lance, you must know, you are trapped in your mind. This has already happened. You need to come back.” Allura pleaded.

Lance blinked, recognition returning to his gaze, in a way which Allura almost wished it wouldn’t. Because suddenly the happy loving feelings were replaced with fear, pain and just a sense of tiredness.

“Allura.” Lance sighed, it broke Allura’s heart.

“Lance, we need you.”

“No you don’t.” Lance whispered, the moonlight was doused by clouds, and all Allura could see was the reflection of Lance’s eyes. “You guys don’t need me. Not really.”

“Of course we need you.” Allura countered. “Lance we will always need you.”

Lance looked around.

“It’s easier in here.” Lance finally whispered, and Allura felt the sliver of fear. 

“I know it is.” Allura whispered back, she reached out, and took Lance up in her arms, despite his nakedness, “But it isn’t real.”

Lance nodded, and Allura felt his resignation. He didn’t want to return with them, he wanted to forever be lost within the corner of his mind.

“We need something from this moment.” Allura finally whispered.

Lance reached up to a pendant that was around his neck, it seemed to be a locket, he opened it in his hand, and Allura saw a picture of the beautiful girl tucked within the pendant. Lance stared at it affectionately.

“She gave this to me tonight.” Lance supplied to a question that Allura didn’t know she had.

Delicately Allura took the locket in her hand. And suddenly she was back in the junction of the mind. The naked Lance was with her, but he had materialized in clothes. Around the junction the other paladins stood in various states of emotions, next to them all was a different version of Lance.

“We should go back now.” Allura whispered to Lance, who nodded.

All of the Lance’s walked towards each other, all reaching out to each other, and when they reached each other there was a flash of blue. 

Allura was out of Lance’s head and back in her own body. The other paladins were as well. And Lance, who was sitting up.

“Lance?” Allura asked quietly. The paladins were all looking at Lance in various states of tears.

Lance didn’t say anything just smiled softly, “yeah princess. I know.”


End file.
